Journey into the wilderness, spend time in solitude, and know that God has a better plan for your life. A Divine Plan.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

I don't know how many of you guys feel about tests, but I hate them. Its one test after another. I just had one this past Monday. Which I almost decided to just miss it because I wasn’t thrilled about the test that I was going in for.

The Pregnancy Test!

There is so much pain when you are taking this test. And even though it may just be a little pee stick, its heart breaking you know? I feel like I’m being judged. I am of no womanly-hood if I cannot get pregnant. To hear or see the “NOT Pregnant” sign is so disappointing. It just really makes it all the worse.

Why did I have to go in for this test?

Well, because I have PCOS, I lack female hormones, therefore I don’t have my periods, therefore, I can’t produce/release eggs, & that makes my chance of Pregnancy very low. After my first visit with my doctor, she decided to just jump right into the wagon & try to help as best possible. She had me starting out with something called Provera. This just gives me the hormones that I lack & need and it basically helps regulate me so I can actually have a period. The second thing they put me on was a bit of Clomiphene Cytrate (Clomid) and this is to multiply my eggs & give us a higher chance of pregnancy.

So after my first month of taking the medications, they wanted me to go in & test for pregnancy.

“Not Pregnant"!” was what the bars yelled on the “dollartree” worth test. How painful!

 

I just instantly prayed for peace & joy. I honestly don’t know what the Lord’s plan is for us, & we’re just really trying to seek that. So I just ask the Lord to really prepare my heart for whatever it is that the results would be. Whether it be to have kids of our own or adopt, or more. Lord, whatever your will is, let it be done. Thank you Father for supplying me with that peace & joy. Because I wouldn’t have been able to shrug it off like that even though it does bother us.

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