Beauty of Barrenness

Image by Indulgy.com Some days are easier than others. God has given me peace in these sufferings. But I'm still human. Everyday as I make the choice to dwell on His promises instead of my situation, He gives me more & more strength. With every passing day, it became a little easier to talk about infertility.  I remember days where we'd have family gatherings & our relatives would come up to us & point out things like: "You've been married for so long now, why don't you guys have some kids?" "Don't wait too long because you're only getting older." "Why would you prefer getting a dog over having a child?" "Do you guys not want kids?" "Oh, don't worry just take advantage of being child-less right now." In those moments, I can honestly tell you, I wanted to cry my eyes out. Some day's I was able to just brush those questions aside. I mean, I know they had good intentions. They...

One thing that I know that's for sure, is that in this season of waiting, God is molding & shaping our character into the parents that He created us to be. I see God's hands at work in my heart. I think that if I had gotten pregnant soon after my wedding, like so many others, I would not have the heart for children as I do now. For over 8 years now, I've committed my life to serving & working with kids. God gave me a fresh perspective & humbled my heart to love & embrace the children around me as if they were my very own. I was a Day Care Teacher, Nanny, Sunday School Teacher, baby sitter, & Children's Ministry Coordinator. God opened doors of opportunity for me to share the love I had stored in my heart with children around me. Before I even realized this, He was aligning everything already. I find His hands in everything that I do. He leads me into embracing children truly as a gift from God. I've gained so much wisdom and knowledge working i...

Hi Readers! Today I've decided to share with you the heart behind my blog. Beauty of Barrenness . About 4 years ago, God had placed this passion on my heart. To share my story to others. My story of infertility & barrenness. I attempted to publish a few posts, but still felt so much bitterness towards my situation. I undeniably got consumed with trying to conceive. Nothing else mattered to me. Out of my mouth came words that just masked how I really felt internally. I'd lay in bed at night questioning God. Why? Why me? Why can't I have kids? You know I LOVE kids. Why would you let this happen to me? In that season of my life, I had no one to turn to. Literally no one. Even Roger didn't even know how to comfort me. We were both silent in this what seemed like a never ending storm. We were trying to stay strong for each other. We weren't seeking God's will or comfort. We were so lost. A part of me even questioned if he would no longer love me because...

If you read my blog, then you know I don't have children. None of my own anyways. But about 5 years ago I was given the opportunity to receive a child into my life. My home. My family (Roger & myself.) As I sat there at a women's conference, formerly known as " Women of Faith" , the host had just announced that under our chairs were children waiting to be loved & cared for. Now, at this point, we were well aware that my PCOS made it much more difficult for us to start a family. It had become so real to me. I knew that it wasn't impossible.  But I also knew that it wasn't going to be easy. We had prayed over and over again, together & apart and it just seemed like our prayers would float up into space & bounce off the ceilings. There were times where we just couldn't talk about it. During that time in our lives, all we wanted was to desperately bear children of our own. I mean, every one around us, who had gotten married after  us were we...

What causes you to be moved? What breathes life back into your lungs? What motivates you? What inspires your very being? I've learned that life is precious. While I could sit in shame & self pity, I realize I have the choice. The choice to change my perspective & find contentment in the beautiful things that surround me or lock myself up in prison. A prison of depression, failure, & doubt. Inspiration comes to me in so many various ways. God himself was the original creator of all things. Therefore, we as His children share that gift. Our inspiration comes in different forms, shapes, and sizes. I hear inspiration through words of life & truth and even in beautiful melodies. I'm inspired by the ever-changing leaves & skies. I'm inspired by communities of love & support. Art & creativity moves me & compels me to get my mind into a place where I can express myself. Nothing beats sharing inspiration though. I love being inspired, but wh...

4 years ago, I stopped making resolutions. Like many other bloggers, I learned that resolutions were just a plan for failure. I'd make vague goals that were a bit impossible & before even hitting the summer, I'd give up on them. Lose weight, be a better ministry leader, read the Bible, and so on & so forth. What I've recently learned is that change doesn't just happen overnight. It takes baby steps. Dreams don't come true if we don't turn them into goals. Goals aren't reached if we don't set deadlines.  2015 was a great year. A year of challenges, change, &  transformation. I love that with a new year, comes a fresh start for you to create who you want to become. A time to self evaluate and let go of bad habits & make room for improvement on a greater version of ourselves. I've thought it through, & I choose to make 2016 " JoyFull. " I want this year to be filled with joy.  2 " Consider it nothing but joy ...