Serenity

How can one be calm & have peace of mind when the whole world is telling you that you should be ashamed of yourself? For years, I've always assumed that I must be some FAILURE because I wasn't able to conceive. I mean, 10 years now. Going on 11 and we're right where we were when we started, How do we find peace in barrenness? That's a question we often ask ourselves. 

I recently committed to a healing fast. To commit 40 days to focus on praying around and even through the circumstances that I've bottled up. PCOS, Infertility, Motherhood, Family, etc. There are so many things my heart desires. But God has just been absolutely awesome in revealing His greatness to me since day 1. He's teaching me to see the beauty in the barrenness. 

Questions I ask myself now are much more convicting. Such as:

• why do I want children? 
• Is my husband and I not already a family?
•  How can I bring a child into this family, if we're not even acting like one already? 
• Do I desire children more than I desire my relationship with God? And so much more. 

He says, "An inheritance quickly gained is not blessed. If you do not sacrifice and pay a price for something, you wont ever understand its value."

WOW. Right? 10 years flew by just like that. A blink of an eye. But what have I been doing? Have I been so consumed of this syndrome, that I've forgotten to put my complete trust on my Creator. The Author and Finisher of life? Where did my faith go? 

I'm so encouraged now, knowing that all women who experienced barrenness had the favor of God. 

Confusing right? I know, it did not make sense at all at first. If God had favor on Sarah or Hannah or Elizabeth, why would He not bless them with a child? But their desperate & sorrowful stories were transformed into miraculous testaments. Look how each woman was delivered through their darkest days. And each of their children went on to be a piece of Christ the Savior's lineage. 

God is using our barrenness to do something greater in us. In our lives, and the lives of our children. The same promises He made to these women, are true for us as well. If God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Then I believe so are His promises. 

More often, we listen to the world. Which is also the enemy. We listen to the shame, the ridicule, the judgement. Yet, we forget to hold on to the truths. Don't forget to praise Him in the storm. Declare the Word of God over your life daily. 

• 28 And God blessed them [granting them certain authority] and said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth...-Genesis 1:28a
• May the God of your father help you; may the Almighty bless you
  with the blessings of the heavens above,and blessings of the watery depths below, and blessings of the breasts and womb.-Genesis 49:25
• 26 There will be no miscarriages or infertility in your land, and I will give you long, full lives.-Exodus 23:26
• 9 “The Lord your God will then make you successful in everything you do. He will give you many children and numerous livestock, and he will cause your fields to produce abundant harvests, for the Lord will again delight in being good to you as he was to your ancestors.-Deuteronomy 30:9
• May the Lord richly bless both you and your children.-Psalm 115:14
• Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine,flourishing within your home.
  Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table.-Psalm 128:3
• “Sing, O childless woman,
      you who have never given birth!
  Break into loud and joyful song, O Jerusalem,
      you who have never been in labor.
  For the desolate woman now has more children
      than the woman who lives with her husband,”
      says the Lord.
  2 “Enlarge your house; build an addition.
      Spread out your home, and spare no expense!
  3 For you will soon be bursting at the seams.
      Your descendants will occupy other nations
      and resettle the ruined cities.
  4 “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame.
      Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you.
  You will no longer remember the shame of your youth
      and the sorrows of widowhood.
  5 For your Creator will be your husband;
      the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name!
  He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel,
      the God of all the earth.-Isaiah 54:1-5

Praise has the power to break through barrenness. Don't ever forget that!