Remembering the Barren this Mother's Day
Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I have to say it is one of the toughest holidays year round. There's a bittersweet emotion that overwhelms me. Part of my heart will desire to celebrate all the beautiful mothers around me including my own mom. But part of my heart dreads the celebration day itself because it just holds as a reminder of another year without children. For those who are in the same shoes as I am, its a constant reminder that another year has passed and we're no where near where we want to be. Each year the Lord puts infertile woman on my heart during this holiday. I know that I'm not the only one that knows of a woman or two that may be struggling this weekend. So here are a few things to consider this weekend even if you don't struggle with infertility.
This year, pray about it. Ask God who it is that you can encourage and celebrate on Mother's Day. Maybe it's a friend, a coworker, or a stranger. Let the Holy Spirit move you as you press into Him. Let Him engrave someone on your heart. Maybe you're not aware yet of anyone that may be facing infertility, miscarriage, or even adoption losses. Ask the Lord to widen your lens to see the pain in other women who may have been forgotten this year and make a decision to celebrate them some way this year.
Honestly, I dread Mother's day most years. It's just an overwhelming ambush of sadness that accompanies this holiday that lifts up other women besides myself. I know it may seem selfish of me or immature. But the pain that meets me every year around this holiday can only be understood by other women whom are in the constant long awaiting journey. For some of us, it gets a little easier every year. And for other's the pain is still fresh. I pray every year that I can have genuine joy to celebrate those around me and continue to put my trust and hope in the Lord. And over time, my heart has gotten a little bit stronger towards this holiday.
If the Lord is moving in you today, here's a few things you can do to remember the forgotten. If all you do this weekend is pray for another woman, then I've done my job as a sister to all barren women in raising awareness.
1.) Buy her flowers. There's just something about a bouquet of fresh cut flowers-they can brighten up anyone's day.
2.) Make some time to take her out for coffee, lunch, or for a walk. Let her know that she is not alone. Hear out her story and let the Holy Spirit encourage her through you.
3.) I know infertility can be hard to comfort sometimes, but we just need to know that we're loved and accepted the way we are without any expectations or judgement. So try not to offer any cliche remarks such as," don't worry, it'll happen," "its okay, you can just adopt" or "just enjoy your time, no need to rush or worry about it." (Here's my post to learn other things you can avoid saying.)
4.) Send a card. It could be as simple as "I'm thinking about you."
5.) If you feel like going an extra mile, give her a little gift or memento that says, "I see your pain today."
6.) Understand that for some women, its still a hard topic to talk about. So don't take it personal if she cant emotionally chat or socialize.
7.) If she is involved with your children, have them make a gift that celebrates her as a mommy figure in their life. Show her appreciation and remind her she deserves to be celebrated just as much as any other mother does.
8.) If you're moved to a grander gesture, contact her and schedule a day out to embrace her. Just knowing that someone cares can change her entire day.
9.) Say a prayer over her. Shower her with a blessing and remember often, to pray for her and the family that God has planned out for her. Pray for healing, patience, strength, joy, and endurance.
This Mother's Day ask God to engrave a woman on your heart to reach out to. Even if God is the only one who sees your efforts, love never fails. "Love is the most important thing. It's not about how much you have, how much you know, or how much you do. It's about how well you love. Love is what matters most."
Happy Mother's Day!